


Eyes

by SilverMidnight



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Slash, mentions of mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-15
Updated: 2014-03-15
Packaged: 2018-01-15 19:11:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 8,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1316104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverMidnight/pseuds/SilverMidnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry notices something when looking at a picture of his Mother. Is it possible that the few things that he knew about his parents weren't true? Slash. Past M-Preg.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing. Please review and enjoy!

"What's wrong, Harry?" Ron asked sitting to my right while Hermione took the left, "You've been in the library all day, Mate."

Looking between my best friends I wondered what I was supposed to say. I didn't even believe what I had just found out myself. Well actually I didn't want to believe any of it.

How was it possible that everyone lied to me? Everyone kept saying it. That was one of the very first things anyone who knew her would say to me and now I found out it wasn't true.

"I don't have them," I said staring at the picture before me.

"Don't have what?" Hermione asked confused.

"Her eyes. Guys, I don't have my  _mothers'_  eyes."

Hermione and Ron stared a confused look before leaning closer and looking at the picture. It didn't long for them to fall back in their chairs and stare at me. They both had seen what I did.

The truth was Lily Evans had brown eyes. She had deep brown eyes and I had bright blue eyes. How was it possible for me to have my  _mothers'_ eyes if they weren't even the same color?

"Maybe," Hermione started to say only to stop talking.

She knew that it wasn't possible for me to have my  _mothers'_  eyes. I stood up quickly and grabbed the photo before taking off out of the library. There were two people in this school who might have some answers for me.

I ran around the whole school looking for Professor Lupin for almost an hour before giving up. That just left the one person I truly did not want to talk to or even be around.

"Professor Snape," I said pounding on his classroom door, "Professor!"

I spent almost five minutes banging on the door before it finally opened. Professor Snape was glaring angrily and looking like I had just woken him up. Right now though I didn't care.

Pushing past him I started to pace the room until I heard the door closed. His glare was even harder now, but I still didn't care. All I knew was I needed answers and he had to have some.

"Did you know Lily?" I asked before he could say anything.

"What?" Snape asked staring at me.

"Did you know Lily Evans?"

"Of course."

"Do I have her eyes?"

And for the first time ever in three years of knowing the man I saw something I never thought was possible. Snape completely froze. It was honestly like my question made him become a statue.

He stood like that. His robes only partially done up since I most likely had woken him up. Wait, it was a little past 1 in the afternoon on a Saturday. What was Snape doing sleeping? Was he sick?

No, he didn't look sick at all. Well, he hadn't before I had asked my question. And though there was never really a lot of light in the classroom he wasn't flinching from the light floating in through the windows so it wasn't a headache.

Why was he sleeping then? There had to be a reason. I needed to figure out that reason. I don't care if it didn't make sense to me all I knew was that I needed to know what was going on with the man in front of me.

"Professor," I said hoping to knock him out of this thoughts, "Do I have Lily Evan's eyes?"

"Get out," Snape said his voice barely over a whisper.

I don't know what I was expecting to happen, but for some reason that wasn't it. Well, I was expecting him to kick me out. It was the way he had said it that made me feel confusion.

It sounded like he was…Broken? Why would he sound like that? I hated that every time I seemed to get even one answer a hundred more complex questions seemed to pop up.

"Professor," I said wanting to reason with him.

"Get out!" Snape yelled the doors being thrown open as glass fell from the now smashed windows.

Without thinking I took off running. I had thought I had seen the man mad before, but I was wrong. Professor Snape was just angry right then he had lost control over his magic.

I didn't stop running until I was in front of the Great Hall. Panting roughly I leaned against the wall and tried to calm down. There would be too many questions if I went in there like this.

"Run far, Harry?" Lupin asked walking up the stairs.

I turned towards the Professor and stared at him. He was the only other person I could think of that had known Lily. If anyone else could answer my question it was going to be him.

Still I wasn't sure if I should ask anymore. With how Professor Snape reacted I was a little terrified to think about how the DADA teacher was going to. But I had to know.

"Yes," I said finally catching my breath, "Professor, can I ask a question?"

"Of course, Harry," Lupin said smiling gently.

Was he going to react the same way Snape had? No, Lupin had control over his powers and his emotions. Though, if someone like Snape could lose control then it was possible for Lupin to as well.

"Did you know Lily Evans?" I asked dread filling my stomach.

"Of course," Lupin said nodding.

"Do I have her eyes?"

Just like with Snape Lupin seemed to freeze completely. Okay, why was that question making everyone react like that? They said I had my mothers' eyes and Lily was my mother. Right?

"Harry," Lupin said his voice getting firmer, "This is important. Have you asked Severus?"

"Yes," I said nodding, "I had been looking for you, but I couldn't find you so I thought I'd ask him. Why?"

"Don't bring this up again with him. Never bring this up with him around even if you think he can't hear you. Never bring this up again."


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm sorry, Severus," Lupin said sitting on my couch.

I let out a very uncharacteristic grunt at that. Why should I care that he was sorry about this? It wasn't like this was his fault in any way. It was that damn Potter's fault. As usual.

And mine. Of course. It was supposed to help us though. Keep everything that was going on a secret until after the war. But then the Dark Lord had found out where they were from the bloody Black.

How he had ever even claimed to be their friend was beyond me. And how I wished I could have had five minutes alone with the man before the Auror's had taken him to Azkaban.

Now I might get that chance though. He had escaped from Azkaban and if I was given the chance I was going to make sure they found no body after I was through with that  _thing._

"Severus," Lupin said sighing, "I know why you both did what you did, but why keep the charade up now?"

"He would never believe the truth," I almost growled out, "Anyway, it's better this way."

"Is it? How so?"

Turning my glare towards the werewolf I couldn't help but wonder if the was right. Maybe I should tell Harry the truth. No, that would just make everything worse for the both of us.

The boy hated me and I had done everything in my power to make sure of that since day one. There was no chance that I would be able to bring our 'relationship' back from that.

No, I was always going to be the most hated teacher in this school to him. Possibly the most hated man that he knew, after the Dark Lord of course. That was just how it was.

"Lupin," I said softly.

"I'll keep my promise, Severus," Lupin said smiling sadly, "But I still think you tell him the truth. What's the worst that could happen?"

Without another word the other man left the room. I truly hated when he did something like that. Though after all these years I guess I should have gotten used to it even a little.

Sighing I slowly stood up and made my way through my bedroom and into the restroom. I found myself in the mirror without thinking. Something I found myself doing more and more since Harry's first year.

I had tried to tell myself that this wasn't worth it. That I should just forget about the past while I could. Yet, still I found myself holding onto it. Hoping that I was dreaming.

Slowly raising my head I watched as my usual pitch black eyes faded and changed to their true color. Before long they were the mirror image to Harry's wonderfully blue eyes.

"I'm sorry, Harry," I said shaking my head, "I can not tell you. Trust me, my son, it's for the best this way."


	3. Chapter 3

"Come on, Harry," Ron said sighing, "Time for Potions."

Today was our first Potions class since my little encounter with Professor Snape just three days before. To say that I was not looking forward to doing this was an understatement.

Still there was no way I was going to be able to skip it. No I was just going to have to face the man. Maybe it was possible for me to skip the next few classes if I went to see Madam Pomfrey.

Hermione and Ron had no idea what had happened on Saturday. It just didn't feel right telling them about Snape losing control like that. Especially since it seemed to be my fault.

How it was my fault was beyond me, but I knew that it was. If I had just been able to find Professor Lupin before or actually had thought about what I was doing than I wouldn't have done that to Snape.

Did I actually feel guilty for what I had done? So I had hurt Snape. After everything he had done to me over the past three years I shouldn't feel anything. But I did.

I felt horrible for making him freeze up like that. I felt horrible for making him sound so broken. I felt horrible for making him yell like that. Most I felt horrible for making him lose control like that.

"Harry," Ron said staring at me, "You alright, Mate?"

"Yeah," I said nodding, "Just thinking."

"About your eyes?"

Shaking my head I walked into the classroom and saw Professor Snape sitting at his desk. There was a potion on the board and everyone else was already getting ingredients.

Alright, it seemed that I wasn't the only one still thinking about the conversation. No, the Potions Professor didn't even look up as everyone got the things. He was too lost in whatever he was doing.

It wasn't until Neville's potion exploded that he even bothered to look up. Instead of yelling as normal or taking points away he simply waved his wand to banish the mess and motioned for Neville to come to his desk.

I watched them closely as Snape set up a table next to his desk and summoned the ingredients. For the first time he actually just watched closely as Neville did his potion and stopped him when he did something wrong.

"That was weird," Ron said as we left the classroom.

"Maybe something happened to him?" Hermione asked worriedly, "Do you think he's sick?"

"I have no idea," I said shaking my head, "But I'm going to find out."

"Harry," Hermione said stopping us in the middle of the hallway, "That is not a good idea. Just leave him alone."

"Hermione, I can't leave it alone. Something is going on and I need to find out."

"Why? Why do you need to find out?"

"Because if I'm right, and I'm almost positive I am, then it has something to do with me. I need to know, Hermione."

Sighing my friend nodded her head slowly knowing that there was nothing she could do to talk me out of this. I was going to find out what that man was hiding one way or another.

The rest of the day went on normally. Well, except for everyone now talking about Professor Snape. Seemed like it wasn't just our class that he had been acting strange with.

The entire school was beginning to speculate what had happened Everything from Dumbledore threatening to fire him if he didn't act nicer to him dying of some rare illness were being said.

That wasn't important to me though. I knew that whatever Professor Snape was hiding Professor Lupin knew about. I was going to try to talk to him once more. Which is how I found myself outside his classroom.

"Harry," Lupin said smiling, "How are you today?"

"Confused," I said sighing.

"Oh? Why is that?"

"You've heard about how Professor Snape is acting? He's being nice. He didn't even yell at Neville Longbottom when he blew up his cauldron or take away points. He always yells."

Instead of answering instantly like I had hoped he would Lupin gave me a sad look. I was right. He knew what was going on with the Potions Master and he just wasn't telling me.

"Professor, please," I said softly, "I know it's because of what I did on Saturday. I just, I need to understand."

"It's not my story to tell," Lupin said staring at me.

"But there is a story! Please, Professor. You're the only one that can tell me. That can tell me anything about this! Please?"

Lupin stared at me for a moment longer before shaking his head. He wasn't going to tell me anything. Why was this such a big secret? It was like the world would end if I knew.

I just wanted to know why my eyes were different from the woman's who was supposed to be my mother when everyone said I had my mother's eyes. Was that so hard of a question.

Once again I was the only one without any answers to questions that I shouldn't even have to ask. Who did Lupin and Snape think they were keep my mother's identity a secret from me?

I had a right to know who my parents were even though I was never going to have a chance to get to know them. I wanted to know…I needed to know who my parents were.

"You have your mothers' eyes," Lupin said calmly.

"But Lily Evan's isn't my mother, is she?" I said already knowing the answer.

"No, Harry. Lily Evan's isn't your mother."

"And you know who is?"

"I do."

"Tell me."

"I can't. I promised them I wouldn't tell you. I'm sorry, but is all I can say."


	4. Chapter 4

"Hello, Severus," Albus said smiling happily at me as I took my seat at the table, "How are you?"

"Tired," I replied keeping as much emotion out of my voice as possible.

I already knew that the old man knew exactly what was going on. More likely then not he already had a plan as well. Honestly I couldn't bring myself to care about any of that though.

I had been so close. So close to forgetting everything that had happened all those years ago. Now the memories were back full force and there was nothing I could do to stop them now.

Once again I felt like I couldn't breath as the emotions I had so long repressed weighted me down. There had to be something that I could do. Actually there was something I could do. Though it was drastic.

"May we talk in your office?" I asked my eyes slowly moving to meet Harry's.

I tried to take in everything that he was because if Albus did as I asked this was going to be the last time I ever saw the boy for who he truly was. Still I needed to do things this way.

As Albus and I made our way to his office I wondered if I was doing the right thing. No, I needed to do this. Not just for my sake, but also for the sake of the boy I would die to protect.

"What do you wish to discuss, Severus?" Albus asked standing behind his desk.

"Harry has found a picture of Lily," I said calmly.

"And he has noticed that his eyes are in fact a different color then hers."

Nodding my head I sat in one of the chairs. I still didn't even know how Harry had gotten a picture of her. Albus had assured me that there was no chance of any pictures having survived the attack.

"They weren't destroyed, were they?" I asked staring at them.

"No, they were not," Albus said staring at me, "I gave them to Hagrid who gave them to Harry at the end of his first year."

A wave of anger filled me. I had trusted the older man to keep the secret and one of the first things he does is plan a way to get the truth out. Did no one understand the importance of this?

Once Harry knew the truth about that night, about his family, then everything was going to change. He didn't need to deal with that right now. I didn't need to deal with that right now.

"Severus," Albus said moving until he was in front of me, "You can't continue to hide this."

"It's for the best," I repeated once again.

I could see the sadness in the Headmasters eyes, but I couldn't bring myself to care. He had no right doing what he did. I knew exactly what I was doing and nothing was going to change my plan.

"He deserves a family," Albus said softly, "And you deserve to have…"

"I deserve nothing," I said glaring at him while standing up, "I gave up my rights a long time ago. Now, I seemed to have forgotten what I wanted to ask you. Please, excuse me."

Spinning around I made my way out of the Headmasters' office and to my classroom. Classes were over for the day so there really was no point for me to stay around any longer.

As soon as the door closed I felt myself lose the last of my control. Glasses exploded, wood splintered, and even a few cauldrons split in two. Everything showed just how destroyed I had felt for years.

I had done my best for all these years to make sure that no one knew what I was feeling. I had done my best for all these years to make sure that I didn't even know what I was feeling.

"Why did you have to do it?" I asked aloud though the person I was talking to was long gone, "Why did you have to leave me?"

Sighing I shook my head while standing up. I was being ridiculous. Nothing I said or did was ever going to change what happened. So there was no point in me reacted like I did when it first happened.

I had done everything to try to show people that the truth wasn't going to help anyone. Since they weren't going to do that I'd make sure that Harry wouldn't bother even believing the truth when he heard it.

I was going to have to make sure that Harry hated me. Even more then the Gryffindor already did. Which was going to be hard considering how much the boy already did not like me.

As calmly as I could I quickly cleaned up the mess I had created and made my way into my room. I had a lot I had to figure out if I wanted my plan to work before anyone else got any ideas.

"Smashing more things, Severus?" Lupin said from his spot on my couch.

"Lupin," I growled trying not to show how startled I was, "Why are you here?"

"I saw you and Dumbledore go to his office. I wondered what you talked about. That and I heard you were actually being nice today. I had to see it for myself."

"I hate to disappoint."

I watched as sadness filled him just as it had Albus. Why were they acting like this was going to affect anyone, besides me, negatively. Harry would be fine without knowing the truth.

"Severus," Lupin said shaking his head, "I know this is hard, but…"

"Do you, Lupin?" I asked glaring at him.

"Why is it I'm 'Lupin' all of a sudden? If I remember correctly you and I were actually beginning to be friends."

"Things changed."

"They've changed so much that you are nothing like the man I remember. They're gone, Severus. How is acting like this to Harry, to everyone, going to change that?"

I tried to keep the glare in my eyes, but I knew that he was right. Which was actually making me all the more angry. There was no reason for him to be right in this situation.

"Severus," Lupin said resting a hand on my shoulder, "I don't expect you to forget or to get over what has happened in the past, but I know that this is going to kill you if you continue this way."

"Maybe it should," I said my voice no higher then a whisper, "Maybe it should."


	5. Chapter 5

"Harry," Hermione said shaking her head, "Please, I think you should leave this alone."

"You saw how Snape acted," I said staring at her.

"That was over a month ago. He's back to himself and nothing else has happened since then."

I stared at my friend and wondered exactly what I was supposed to say. She and Ron still had no idea what had happened the first time I had tried to talk to the Potions Master.

Without them knowing the full story they couldn't tell me what I was supposed to do or not. Still I couldn't tell them what I had seen. It was just too…Personal for me to tell them.

"Hermione," I said before catching sight of Professor Lupin, "I have to go. I'll see you later."

Quickly standing up from the table I made my way out of the Great Hall. He told me not to bring this up with Snape again so I wouldn't, but that didn't mean I wasn't going to ask him more questions.

Why did everyone believe that they got to decide what I did and did not need to know? This was my life and for once in it I wanted to be able to make a decision on my own.

It took awhile before I finally caught up to the Professor only to freeze when I saw him. He was standing in front of the cabinet Hermione had shown Ron and I our first year. The one holding my Father's award.

"What am I supposed to do, James?" Lupin said shaking his head, "You were the only one that could talk some sense into that man. How you did that is beyond me, but you did…Damn it, James, why did you have to die?"

My heart felt like it was beating out of my chest as Lupin walked away. Was my Father friends with Snape? Or…Maybe it…Was it possible that something else was going on?

No, what was I thinking. My Father wasn't gay and neither was Snape. Except I couldn't actually say that could I? I didn't really know anything about either of them at all.

"Dad," I said moving to fill the spot Lupin had just left, "I know something's going on. Did something…Did something happen between you and Snape? Why is everyone hiding it if something did? Why aren't my eyes the same color as Lily's? Is she…Is she not my Mum? Please, Dad, I need to know what's going on."

After standing there in silence for a few minutes I realized how stupid I was being. My Father was dead. There was no way he could tell me whatever was going on with Snape.

Shaking my head I started to walk away from the cabinet with no real place in mind. My head was spinning angrily and I knew that if I ended up going to my friends that they'd ask too many questions.

That is how I ended up standing in front of the Potions classroom. Everything was telling me to turn around and leave, but I couldn't do that. Reaching forward I slowly knocked on the door and waited.


	6. Chapter 6

"Professor Snape," Harry said staring at me after I opened the door, "I didn't…I mean, I wasn't…I don't know why I'm here."

Seeing the Gryffindor stutter out that sentence made me want to slam the door in his face. It was exactly the same thing his Father had said to me when we were in our fifth year. Word for word.

Of course, I had already noticed that he was so much more like his Father than he was like…That didn't matter. What mattered was getting him as far away from me as possible.

Though even as I came up with different things I could say to the boy I couldn't bring myself to actually say them aloud. I couldn't bring myself to actually say anything at all.

"You knew my Dad, right?" Harry asked after a moment of silence.

"Yes," I said my voice barely over a whisper.

"You were friends with him?"

"In a way."

Even as I said that I knew it wasn't the right thing to say. And I was proven right as Harry threw an angry glare at me. For a moment I honestly thought the young boy was going to hit me.

As soon as I thought that though the anger just seemed to melt away. Only to be replaced by sadness. I seemed to be having that affect on people as of late and I was beginning to hate it.

"Am I like him?" Harry said surprising me, "Am I like my Dad?"

Clenching my jaw I once again held my emotions in. What was I supposed to say to that? He was almost a carbon copy of the man. From his looks to his attitude he was his Father's son.

I hated that. I don't know why, but when I first realized the boy was going to be coming to Hogwarts I had hoped he looked like neither of his parents. Anything to make sure I could separate myself form him.

Instead he turned out to be everything I had tried to forget. Maybe if he wasn't like him it would have made it easier to ignore him. To not care what happened to him in the end.

"Yes," I said staring at him, "You're exactly like him."

"And my Mum?" Harry asked softly, "Am I anything like my Mum?"

I felt what little control I had start to slip when he said that. I knew that he figured out that Lily wasn't his Mother. I just wasn't sure how much he knew about his birth Mother.

"A bit," I said nodding my head.

"You knew her as well?" Harry asked a hopeful glint filling his eyes, "You knew my Mum?"

"I did."

"Will you tell me anything about her? I know I shouldn't ask. Professor Lupin…"

"What did Lupin say?"

"Just that I shouldn't be asking you these things. That I shouldn't bring up my eyes or anything like that. I don't know why though. Why shouldn't I ask?"


	7. Chapter 7

"Harry," Professor Lupin said shaking his head, "I asked you not to talk to him about this."

After telling Professor Snape about what Professor Lupin said I found myself, once again, locked out of his classroom. Though this time he didn't lose control of his magic.

Of course, Professor Lupin himself was outside the classroom about to go in. He simply shook his head and guided me through Hogwarts until I found myself in his classroom.

Lupin looked so disappointed in me at the moment in time that I couldn't help but feel guilty. He had told me not to talk to Snape about this again and I just couldn't stop myself.

"I heard what you said," I blurted out without thinking.

"Heard me?" Lupin asked curiously, "When?"

"When you stopped by the Trophy case and were talking to my Father. I heard you. You said that he was the only one that could talk some sense into him. Were you talking about Snape? Was my Father the only one that could talk some sense into Snape?"

Lupin stared at me for a moment before sighing. I could see the internal debate eh was having with himself. He knew something and he wanted to tell me. What was stopping him?

"Harry," Lupin said turning to me, "Promise me. Promise me you won't try to talk about this with Severus again."

"Why?" I asked feeling desperate.

Walking slowly Lupin moved until he was in front of his desk. The internal battle was over and if I was to go off of his last statement it seemed like he was going to continue to hide whatever happened from me.

"There are a lot of things you don't know about Severus," Lupin said slowly, "And I am only going to say this to you. Do not repeat this. Ever. Understood?"

"Yes," I said nodding quickly, "Understood."

"There are very few things that can get under Severus's skin. Your Father was and will always be one of them. You bringing him up now is hurting Severus. Now he and I might not be all that good of friends, but I do care about him."

I felt myself freeze when he said that. Bringing up my Father hurt Snape? How as that possible? What did those two mean to each other that after all these years it hurt to talk about him?

"Now, promise me you'll quit talking to Severus about this," Lupin said firmly.

"I promise," I said quickly, "If you answer one more of my questions.

Lupin let out a soft sigh before nodding his head. He didn't even bother to argue with me. Alright this was more serious then I had thought. It wasn't like I wouldn't do as he said even if he didn't answer me.

Taking a deep breath I thought back to everything I had learned over the past three months. I couldn't believe what I was about to say, but I still needed to ask on the off chance I was right.

"Were my Father and Snape together?" I asked already dreading the answer.


	8. Chapter 8

"I understand that you're upset, Severus," Lupin said softly, "But can you blame him? He just wants a chance to know his parents."

Lupin had just finished explaining to me about what Potter had asked him. Of course, he thought it was a wonderful idea to tell the Gryffindor the truth. Something I had specifically told him not to do.

"Then tell him about his Father," I growled out.

The werewolf rolled his eyes at me before standing up. I was really beginning to wonder if I should change the password to my room, but I also knew there was no point in that.

If there was anything I had learned from school if the  _Marauders_ wanted to get into someplace they were going to get it. At least Harry's Father had been able to get into any place he wanted.

And yes, of course I knew about their little group. Everyone in our year knew about them. I simply did, and do, my best to ignore everything and anything that comes up about them.

"Say it," Lupin said knocking me from my thoughts.

"I don't have time for this," I said motioning towards the door.

"Severus, say it."

"Leave, Lupin."

"I'll leave after you say it. You haven't said it once since that day. You can't keep going on like this. You need to get past it. To move on."

"Move on? You think that I should move on? Just like that?"

"No, not just like that. I do think that this is killing you. And I do know that that is the last thing that he would have wanted."

"What makes you think I care?"

Before I knew what was going on Lupin rammed me into a wall. It wasn't very easy to make the man upset, but once he was it was best to not get between him and whomever he was upset with.

"James loves you," Lupin said almost in a growl.

"Don't say his name," I said glaring back.

"James loves you. James wouldn't want you to do this. James…"

Letting my anger get the best of me I took a swing at the werewolf. Lupin fell to the floor and just sat there for a moment. I could see the blood dripping slowly from his newly split lip.

"Get mad, Severus," Lupin said staring at me, "But don't box up your feelings. I know that it hurts that he's dead. I understand that. I just can't understand why you aren't trying to get to know your…"

"I gave up my rights to him when he was born," I said my tone coming out completely void of emotions.

"No, you didn't. You did what you had to. You protected him and that's what you're still doing. But by protecting him you're also hurting him. I know you don't want that."

"Of course I don't want to hurt him, but…"

"No buts, Severus. You have to talk to your son. You have to talk to Harry."

Sighing I shook my head slowly. I hadn't actually heard anyone say that since Harry was born. Honestly, I would have been just as glad to never heard it for the rest of my life.

"He did love you," Lupin said slowly standing up.

"I know," I said nodding my head.

"And you still love him."

"I do."

Lupin nodded his head slowly before turning around and leaving. He knew that he had gotten the point across. Part of me still wished that he had just left everything alone though.

As soon as the door closed I made my way back to my bedroom. My movements were slow as I stripped out of my clothes and curled up under my sheets in the middle of my bed.

Ever since Harry had started asking questions I felt myself going to bed earlier and earlier. It was odd to see, but as soon as I fell asleep I was greeted by those warm hazel eyes. This time was no different.

" _Sev," James said smiling happily at me as I walked into the Potions classroom._

_This was one of the few times I found myself having detention and, as normal, it was James fault. From the smile he was giving me he seemed quite proud of this fact as well._

" _Where's Professor Slughorn?" I asked looking around._

" _He trusts you to force me to do our detention. So, you going to force me do something?"_

_Shaking my head I wondered what exactly I was supposed to say to that. I wanted to do what my Professor said, but at the same time James and I had only been together for a few months._

" _I'll make you a deal," James said grinning, "I'll do what Professor Slughorn said if you go to Hogsmead with me on Tuesday."_

" _The next Hogsmead trip isn't until Saturday?" I asked confused._

" _Exactly."_

_Laughing softly to myself I nodded my head. Leave it to James to know a way to get to Hogsmead. Though I wasn't sure if it was James or Black that had figure it out. Either way I had plans on Tuesday._

_That was the thing I liked about the Gryffindor. He never just sat there and let things happen. He always had a plan to do something. Given they usually broke the rules, but that was just him._

" _Hey Severus," James said taking my hand into his._

" _Yes, James?" I asked staring at him._

" _I am sorry. For everything I've done to you. The names. The pranks. I know I've said it before, but I still can't believe the way I treated you. I've never hated myself more then I did when I realized what I did to you."_

" _I already forgave you."_

" _I know. But I'm going to keep apologizing until I finally find a way to forgive myself. That might take awhile. I hope you don't mind."_

" _No, I don't mind at all."_


	9. Chapter 9

"Harry, are you alright?" Hermione asked softly, "You look you didn't sleep at all last night."

"He didn't," Ron said falling onto the couch in the Common Room, "I heard him tossing and turning all night. What's wrong, Mate?"

Sighing I ran a hand through my hair wondering what I was supposed to say. I had just found out that my Father had some sort of fling or something with Snape. What do you say to that?

Snape made my life horrible since day one. How was is possible for him and my Father had gotten along at all? Or was that why Snape was being so horrible to me? Because of something my Father did?

I needed to talk to Snape. He was going to tell me what had happened whether he liked it or not because I was not going to let this go. I couldn't let this go without knowing the truth.

The Potions Master had been avoiding everyone for months now. There was no way I was going to be able to find the man. Except…I could use the map that Fred and George had given me to find him.

"I'll explain everything once I know what is going on," I said jumping up, "I need to do something first."

Taking off upstairs I quickly found the map and found Snape. I was going to figure out what happened. I wasn't going to stop until I figured out what happened between them.

I made my way through Hogwarts until I finally found myself by the Owlery. This is where the map said Snape was. Now all I had to do was find the Potions Master and get some answers.

"And what exactly are you doing out here, Mr. Potter?" that familiar drawl said from behind me.

"Looking for you," I said turning around, "You and my Father?"

"I believe Lupin already answered that. Unless you'd like me to repeat the answer."

"Stop doing that! He was my Father and obviously you know him so for once, just once, will you answer me directly?!"

Snape stared at me for a moment before a ghost of a smile came to his lips. The smile was gone just as quickly as it came, but I still found myself glad that I had done that.

I didn't know what my Father saw in the man before me, but it was possible that Snape was different then who he was before. Maybe he changed so much from whomever he was.

"Just like your Father," Snape said shaking his head.

"I am?" I asked smiling slightly.

"Very much so. He yelled at me just like that a few times. I'll tell you exactly what I told him."

"What?"

"You already know the answers you have. And the answers I hold are ones you aren't ready for."


	10. Chapter 10

"Severus, don't," Lupin said trying to calm me down, "He didn't…"

"Shut up," I said moving towards Black, "You son of a…"

I could hear the three students and Lupin trying to talk me out of getting closer to escaped prisoner. I wanted this man dead for what he did and nothing was going to stop me from doing that.

Black opened his mouth to say something when I rammed my fist into his face. I got one punch in before Lupin grabbed my wrist and moved so he was between me and the traitor.

"You're protecting him?" I said with a sneer, "He sent the Dark Lord after them. He's the reason James and Lily are dead. He helped try to kill my son!"

The room seemed to freeze when I said that. I knew that Harry was starting to piece everything together, but Granger and Weasley looked like they had no idea what was going on.

"Your son?" Harry asked staring at me, "But I thought James Potter was my Father."

"He is," Lupin said still staring at me, "Severus and James were together, but Severus is a spy for us into the Dark Lord's doings. No one could know about them. There is a way for wizards to get pregnant and that's what happened. As odd as it sounds Severus is your Mother."

"But Lily…?"

"She was a good friend of both of them. At least she became friends with James after Severus and him started to date. She pretended to be pregnant along side Severus. When he gave birth to you everyone said that you were Lily and James's son."

"But the eyes?"

"A spell that Severus does. His eyes are actually blue. I'm sorry, Harry, but you'll have to talk to Severus later."

Glaring at the werewolf I wondered where he thought he got to tell the story. Alright, I wasn't exactly in my right mind, but that was only because Black was in front of me.

Black started to talk quickly. He explained that he wasn't the Secret Keeper. That Pettigrew was. And Pettigrew was the Weasley family rat. He had been right under my nose for so long!

Once the  _rat_  was back in his human form I found myself pointing my wand to his throat. I wanted the man dead for what he did. For what he cost me. Of course, Harry had to be like his Father once more.

Soon I found myself walking back to Hogwarts with Harry looking over at me a few different times. He wanted to say something, but he looked almost scared to say it aloud.

"You're my Mum?" Harry asked softly.

"Yes," I said sparing him a glance.

"But you were so…"

"Horrible to you? I told you, Harry. You're just like your Father."

"I remind you of what you lost."

"I'm sorry, Harry. I should have told you before. I am sorry."

"It's okay, Mum. Just, don't act like that anymore."

Smirking slightly I got ready to tell him that I made no promises when we noticed the moon. Of course, the one night where we were had too much on our minds already had to be a full moon.

I had wanted to protect the children from Lupin, though I knew in his right mind there was no chance he would hurt them. Though being a werewolf is a good reason not to be in a good mind.

It was luckily that the other wolf made the noise when it did. Something in the back of my mind though said that there was something more going on though. I had no idea what, but something was happening.

It wasn't until two days later, after Black's escape, that I was able to talk to Harry again. If I was going to be honest with myself I was hoping that it would be awhile longer before this conversation.

"Should I ask for an explanation?" Harry asked sitting at a table in my classroom.

"I thought Lupin already gave you one," I said reorganizing some potions.

"I want one from you,  _Mum_."

Sighing I turned back to Harry only to be met with a glare. That was something he got from me as well. If I wasn't so used to giving it I knew I would be worried what he was capable of.

"Your Father and I…" I started to say.

"James Potter?" Harry said interrupting me.

"Yes, James Potter. James and I starting dating in our sixth year. It was a difficult situation for the both of us since I was already working for Dumbledore as a spy in the Dark Lord's army. We were doing everything we possibly could to keep people from knowing about us. Since everyone assumed that he liked Lily they moved in together and she pretended to be pregnant with you when in truth I was. I don't know what more you want."

"And where did I come into all of this? Was I even wanted or was I a freak accident or something? What happened?"

I could hear the desperation come into Harry's voice when he said that. He was trying so hard to understand what we had done. What I was still doing, but at times I didn't understand myself.

"Is The Dark Lord back?" I asked calmly.

"Yes," Harry said firmly.

"That is why this lie must continue and why no one can know what I am to you. If they do and he finds out…"

I left that open knowing that he would understand. That was exactly what I had not wanted to do. Him knowing how much danger I put myself in was never part of the plan.

"You can't get out of this?" Harry asked softly.

"No," I said shaking my head, "I cannot. I'm doing everything I can to keep you and everyone safe. If I step back in anyway then I am putting everyone I am trying to protect in danger."

"But…Just keep safe. Alright, Mum?"

"So much like your Father."


	11. Bonus Chapter

"I expect something like this out of you, Potter," Severus said glaring at me, "But Lily? You never follow his plans."

Alright, Severus was referring to me as 'Potter' he was more upset then I had thought he would be. Not that I didn't expect him to be mad, but getting him 'Potter' mad had gotten harder to do.

At twenty years of age, for both of us, Severus Snape and I had been dating for a little over four years. It wasn't until our second year that I found out about the spell he had placed on his eyes.

Covering those amazing blue orbs didn't seem right, but I understood why he did it. He no longer wanted to remember his mother and because of that he took away the one thing she always talked about when she saw him.

"He had already made the potion himself, Severus," Lily said shrugging, "It was either let him give you the potion he made and risk that it was wrong or make the correct potion and know that it's right."

Sirius and Remus were on the opposite side of the room trying their hardest not to laugh. I would be to if I didn't know exactly what Severus was capable of when he was mad.

It wasn't that I was truly worried about what my love would do to me. No matter how upset he was at me he did love me just as much as I loved him. That was probably the only thing keeping me alive right now.

"Severus, love," I said rubbing a hand up and down his arm, "I know you're mad, and you can do whatever you'd like to me later, but please calm down. It's not good for you in your condition to be this upset."

"Whatever I'd like?" Severus said staring at me, "Black, would you mind getting me a knife?"

Swallowing roughly I crossed my legs hoping he didn't see just how much fear I felt when he said something like that. Alright, he was way angrier then I had thought he would be.

"Minus the removing of important body parts," I said softly, "Severus, we both want this…"

"Not now!" Severus yelled throwing his arms up, "Not with the Dark Lord so close to…"

Sighing I pulled Severus into a hug letting his head rest against my chest. I hadn't meant to make him this upset with me. I just knew that this was what both of us had wanted. I had hoped…Well, I wasn't sure anymore.

"You never think," Severus muttered against my chest.

"I know," I said kissing his forehead, "It will all work out."

"You don't know that."

I pushed Severus away from me slightly so I could look him in the eyes. The anger that was there was gone, but it had been replaced by sadness. Which was much worse then anger. Leaning forward I pressed my lips to his gently. Anything to show him that everything would be fine.

"I'll protect you, both of you," I said resting a hand on his stomach, "Tell your Mum, my child. Tell him I'll protect you."

"Don't call me 'Mum'," Severus muttered without any heat in his voice.


End file.
